"Perfectionism... When the pursuit of perfection becomes a barrier to contentment and happiness."

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you achieve, you're still far from what you aspire to? Or that you're chasing goals without really knowing what your true goal is?

In the age of social media and increasing societal pressure, many of us find ourselves constantly comparing ourselves to others. We see their successes and feel like we're falling behind or failing despite the reality that says: "Comparison is unfair, and the standards are misleading."

"99% is not enough!"

This phrase may sound familiar, but it reflects a deep psychological pattern known as perfectionism. It’s not just about wanting to excel it’s a persistent internal feeling that no achievement is ever enough, and nothing is worthy of satisfaction.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism isn’t just a fleeting feeling or spontaneous behavior. It’s an inner drive that pushes a person to try to meet extremely high standards in all areas of life.And even when success is achieved, the feeling of inadequacy persists as if satisfaction and happiness are always out of reach.

Is Perfectionism a Mental Disorder?

Perfectionism is not classified as a standalone mental disorder, but it can be a personality trait linked to other disorders like anxiety or depression.Its impact goes beyond the individual it affects relationships with partners, family, friends, and even colleagues at work.

Is Perfectionism Innate or Learned?

Most likely, perfectionism is a learned behavior shaped by certain upbringing styles during childhood, such as:

• Repeated phrases like: “You must be first,” “Don’t make mistakes,” or “It’s shameful to do that.”

• Frequent comparisons between the child and their peers.

• Linking acceptance with achievements, not with the person themselves.

All these things plant the idea that personal worth is tied to perfection—not to our natural humanity that embraces mistakes and growth.

How Does Perfectionism Affect Daily Life?

• At work: Obsessing over excessive details can weaken performance and drain energy.

• In relationships: High expectations lead to frustration, tension, and misunderstandings.

• Mentally: It’s often accompanied by chronic anxiety, guilt, and can lead to depression.

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Is Perfectionism Always a Bad Thing?

Not necessarily. Ambition and the desire for growth are positive traits. But the danger lies in excess. When the pursuit of perfection becomes a mental burden and a constant feeling of inadequacy t turns into an enemy of both success and peace of mind.

Adopt the golden rule:“Be good enough – Good enough.”

How Do We Deal with Perfectionism?

• Acceptance: It’s okay to make mistakes and experiment.

• Conscious parenting: Especially with children—give them space to learn from failure.

• Understanding individual differences: No one is the same as another.

• Focus on effort, not just results.

• Redefine failure: It’s a step toward maturity, not the end of the road.

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Who Sets the Standard? Is It You or the People Around You?

Many people measure themselves by the standards of others, without clearly defining their own personal goals.Imagine comparing yourself to someone older or more experienced! Sometimes, a person is ahead of their time, but they don’t feel it because of these comparisons.

The Impact of Social Media

Social platforms show only perfect moments of success, giving the illusion that perfection is possible and real. You see one achievement from each person and assume everyone is living a flawless life this is an illusion.

What’s the Real Reason Behind the Pursuit of Perfection?

Often, perfectionism is a reaction to a painful experience in childhood: criticism, bullying, or failure. The wound wasn’t healed, so the person develops an inner "lens" through which they see themselves and the world.

That’s why they strive for perfection—to avoid being hurt again.

Some people say: “I want to forget the past.”But the truth is: the problem isn’t the memory, but how we view it. Awareness and acceptance are the real ways to heal—not forgetting.

Social Pressure and Misleading Standards

In the past, it was expected that by the age of 30, a young man or woman would be married, stable, and successful. Life has changed but the expectations haven’t.

So ask yourself: Do these standards even suit me?Don’t make others’ satisfaction the benchmark for how you feel about yourself.

“Pleasing people is a goal you’ll never reach. Pleasing God is a goal you should never leave.”

Social Boundaries and Unwelcome Interference

We’ve reached a point where people interfere in others’ private matters:"Why aren’t you married?" "Why haven’t you traveled?" "When will you get a job?"

This culture of interference needs to change. Even an innocent comment can become hurtful if said at the wrong time.

On the other hand, setting boundaries doesn’t mean cutting people off it means balancing kindness with awareness and privacy.

Perfectionism and Personal Decisions

Even in marriage, some fall into the trap of ideal expectations:“I want the perfect partner.”But perfection belongs to God alone. Expecting it from people only exhausts us and distances us from reality.

Unfortunately, perfectionism is more common among women than men—and it appears in forms like obsession with beauty and excessive conformity, as an escape from the feeling of inadequacy.

In Conclusion

Awareness, contentment, and sincere intention are the keys to breaking free from the pressure of perfection.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone.Don’t make your standard of success an external one.

Your path, your progress, your pace… they’re all yours alone.

When was the last time you told yourself: “I am enough, just as I am”?